Yesterday, after my RCIA lesson, I spoke to one of the Brothers from the Community of John. One of the most interesting things he told me was that our Lady had consecrated herself to God as a virgin when she was in the Temple as a child. The thing is, having been in the line of descendants that could be used as an instrument to bear the Messiah, she had given up any chance of being the chosen one for that vocation. Yet, God still chose her. We can reflect on this and use it in our own lives today. Just as our Lady gave herself wholly to God and sacrificed her own will to follow the will of God (in the Annunciation, we see this as Mary says, "Let it be done unto me according to your will") we too, as Christians, can abandon the worldly, materialism and secularism and make the time and effort to become closer to God, so that we might listen to Him and let Him lead us closer to doing His will.
As you may have seen, Emily has posted that she believes that God is not calling her to the Religious life at this moment in time. What was really interesting about that and the revelation from the Brother at Church yesterday was that when I was younger, I had made a promise to God that I would never have any children of my own, so in other words, what I was really promising Him was that I would remain a virgin all my life because I am one of those people who does not believe in having premarital or extra-marital intercourse. The other interesting thing was that recently I have been praying a lot to God saying things like, "If you want me to do certain things, like do more regarding the Religious life, I cannot then do all the things I am doing now, and what will come of this blog, and the homeless people I look after, and the friends I have come to know and help?, Who will continue this work I have started and who will maintain it?", so when Emily posted what she did, it actually spoke to me and made me realise that I should trust the Lord more, because He has a plan and will sort it out.
I was previously asked by Brother whether I had a special devotion to a particular saint. I said not really at the time, but last night he asked me if I had a special devotion to our Lady, and now I think of it, I actually do, so I said to him that actually I do, and perhaps wasn't sure how to express it that last time we were talking of that. I also told him that my birthday was on the feast of the Immaculate Conception, and he said, "You do have divine providence looking upon you then" which was quite reassuring in a way. A nice reminder of how our Lord and our Lady are watching over us.
As we approach the end of the liturgical year, we are reminded in Mass by the numerous readings from the apocalypse that feature daily. For us, as Christians, we must think of the hope it brings that we will one day be what I like to call, "at one with God". We will finally come to take the next step in being in a perfect state of pure grace with God, as we start to be purified while in purgatory. At the same time, perhaps now, as we approach Advent, it might be a good time to reflect on our lives and how we can, with humility and faith, approach the season with a view to be more "Christ-like" - How can we live our lives in a more faithful way? Which leads me back to the begging question of vocation - What do I take as a sign, and what not? Am I interpreting things in a certain way because I have already made my mind up, or because those things are really leading me to where I think they are?
I spoke to Father and Brother yesterday and they said to me, "Kim, did you even leave the Church today?" I said back, "Yes, don't worry, I did actually go, and then I came back again this evening", Brother then said, "That's ok, we'll start worrying when the statues start moving and talking to you, and you'll be like, Brother, they've given me another sign!" I was like, "No, that's just not going to happen...*laughs*". The conversations I have with Brother are very interesting, and he had been teaching me a lot on the faith, which is lovely. My only challenge is trying to keep this a major secret, because should my family ever find out, they will go mental! Please keep my journey of faith in your prayer, as I will keep you all in prayer too. Many blessings be upon you, as the light of the Lord shines down on you this coming season of Advent, which will start next week.
God Bless you all,
With my fervent prayer for you and your vocations,
Kim Lee :)
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