I've been Catholic in full communion with the Church for about 2ish months now. It has been an interesting journey and to look back in retrospect and see all the changes in my life and how I've grown spiritually is incredible. I look back and see my frustrated self wanting to be "at one with God" and Catholic so much I almost lost the true Communion I had with God. I see a girl who was so afraid of things I has no need to worry about that I forgot that God is there to turn to, that unlike us, He has no bad human habits of abandonment or forgetfulness or the like. He is omnipresent, omniscient, and most of all, ever-loving and merciful. That was something I almost forgot in the run up to Easter when I was so caught up with where God wants me, what He wants me to do, how I will do it, and what my anti-Catholic family will think. I forgot that as a child, the only way I got through hard times and arguments regarding my faith with my family was to pray and stay close to the Lord, and also to remind myself that it is ALWAYS between GOD and ME, and NOBODY ELSE!
Since I have been in full comunion with the Church I have continued to go to Daily Mass and regularly to the sacrament of reconciliation. It is a beautiful sacrament and a very liberating experience. It has always helped me to focus my heart and my mind and my strength and my will and my whole self back on God, to start over and realise that although I have fallen, I can get back up again and try again.That is the thing with God's love and mercy. He is so wonderful that He gives us that opportunity and loves us so much, unconditionally that we could not even imagine what it is like to love that much. I love how our Lord is such a loving Father. I often offer it all up to Him knowing that He will always take care of me and look after me as His daughter. God really does know best and by the Holy Spirit will lead us and guide us on the path He wants us to be on in His time. Everything will unfold eventually and we will know what He wants from us. I trust that in time He will show me His will. I entrust my whole life to Him, in His arms I am held, as are we all, in His love and fraternal care.
When I was praying before the Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament, I received an image in great peace and joy and it was most beautiful. It was of someone taking my hand and walking with me down a long road. I could not see where it was going, but I trusted that where this person was taking me was for my own good, where I would be most happy, where I would become closer and closer to being fully human, to being fully myself. It was so peaceful, so joyful, so beautiful that I am still in awe of God for showing me such an image that could inspire me so much as to want and desire very much to come ever closer to Him who knows me better than I know myself. He created me, just as He created you, and He knows me best, as He knows you best. Just remember that you cannot outsmart God - He knows your every move before you even think of it.
Rejoice in the Risen Lord and Praise be to God!
With my love and prayers, my Brothers and Sisters in Christ Jesus,
The Vocation Operation