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Saturday, 12 October 2013

Blog Update: The Story so far: Kim

I have updated my story on the blog and have put the page back up online with a little recent update. I hope that you will enjoy reading it. The purpose of having our vocation stories on the blog is to show you that everyone's journey is different, and that God calls us to discover our very own personal vocation. Each one of us is called to something particular, something only we can do, something we are asked specifically to carry out. This is our life's task. We must always centre God in our lives as Christians, but also bear in mind God's will for us in every decision we make. I know that from young I have always had this "inkling", this "tugging" at my heart which made me always think about where God could be leading me, where God wants me. This hugely influenced my decision making process when thinking about next steps for the future after finishing my education. I wanted somewhere where I could learn, and experience life without having to rely on my family for support in a financial way. I wanted to be financially independent, which I am, to live out, to really see if I could survive on my own. Part of me wanted to make sure I wasn't ever trying to use anything as an escape from my family as I love them very dearly, even though we do fight and have arguments a lot because of my faith decisions. There were times when I thought, well, if I run from God, and try and leave all this behind me and just be "normal" in their eyes, don't be religious, then maybe there would be peace. How wrong I was! I ended up grumpy and sad, with a total emptiness in my heart which I knew deep down only God could fill. I also knew that being a lay Catholic wouldn't be enough for me. I always had this sense of knowing deep down that God has so much more planned for me. There is somewhere I feel 'at home', and have found a very very deep peace in my heart, and I could not ignore it, so I have decided to continue along that path, to see where it will lead. I know now that I cannot run, I cannot hide, and even if I try and delay things, it's no point because God will find a way somehow or other! I often don't tell people this, but I aspire to learn the poverty of St. Francis of Assisi and John the Baptist (see the Prologue of the Gospel of St John for an example -  I am the voice of one crying in the desert). Only then can we truly and freely love one another as a brother and sister in Christ. :)

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